17 November 2007


"The first part is to tell the top three things that made you want to love him for the rest of time, and the second is to tell what you've learned about him since that keeps it alive for you."
I have finally gotten brave enough to take on the challenge Calista gave us. So here it goes.
1. His Honesty This is actually a double-edged sword, because while he is always straight with me, telling me the ablsolute truth, as he knows it, he tends a little to be too honest sometimes. I'm afraid I've been surprised by his family and our friends a couple of times when he has told them something I'd wanted to keep to myself for a while, but hadn't told Josh I wanted it kept private. While he's a little quieter than I am in laying out his opinions, he is no less blunt when the occasion calls for it, and not in the least afraid of offending someone if he thinks something needs to be said.
2. He's a Rock From the very beginning (going all the way back to Junior High), Josh has always been someone to lean on when there is trouble, or at least no tissues. He is willing to let you cry, rave, scream even, knowing you need to let it out, and then not say anything about why you were upset or angry. I always know that when I need him, I have only to call, that he'll be there for me as fast as is humanly possible. He is steady, dependable, and I used to think those were boring traits in a man, but now I cannot think of anything more comforting than a person you can count on 100%.
3. I'm not sure what to call this one, it's many different words, I think. When he started calling me again from South Dakota, I didn't know what to think. I knew my feelings for him were mixed, all jumbled up in a closet where I didn't really want to look. But the only thing he asked was that he be allowed to talk to me, and tell me he loved me at the end of the conversation. He didn't ask me to answer in kind, just that he be allowed to say it. (Persistance?) As the conversations grew less stilted, less awkward, I became accustomed to hearing him say it. With that came a curiosity of how much he loved me, and he started expressing everything he felt in his heart. (Devotion?) After he arrived in Idaho for my graduation, he told me he didn't want to let me go, to leave without taking me with him. I tried, unsuccessfully, to put him off, to give myself some room to think. He didn't let me, only wrapped me up in his love, as if to ward off any doubts I might have. (Protective?) I don't know how to put it all into words, but I love every part of him, so much I sometimes feel a physical ache with it all. When he asked me to marry him, there was no little voice in my head that said "Whoa, girl! Stop and think about this. It's going too fast, you need to take a minute and look at the big picture." I simply said the only thing that could have made me the happiest person on earth. And here I am today, never regretting a single moment of it all.
1. He is Humble Josh is willing and able to admit he was in the wrong when presented with facts, or opinions, from both sides that do, in fact, prove him wrong. He doesn't get offended at being incorrect, just accepts it and moves on. Knowing when to give ground is just as important as knowing what to do with it when you've won it. He has proven this to me many times, over the last couple years, as we've faced hardships that would break some marriages, and we're still here.
2. His sense of Duty When we were first married, I remember being struck by how handsome he looked in his BDUs and his dress blues. Looking back on it, it wasn't just the outfit, but an attitude he took on as well. He knew when he put that uniform on he was representing the United States Air Force, and he knew that everything he did would be seen, not as an individual citizen, but as part of the military that protected us from tyranny. He knew what was expected of him, and he intended to exceed those expectations, go above and beyond, because his work was his passion. Since then, we have gone our seperate ways from the military, but that same attitude of representation, to wherever he works, is present, almost tangible, when I see him step into the kitchen in his uniform.
3. His love for Dallas and Me I knew when I married him, that Josh loved me. I thought I knew what love was, how it made you feel, how to make everything work so that love would still be most important. But I soon learned that love isn't something you can put on your weekly check-list of things to do, along with the shopping, the laundry, and the (ick!) dishes. Josh loved me so completely that it didn't take long for me not to think about how much or how little we had, I didn't need to worry if we loved each other enough to overcome obstacles that may land in our path. He took it all out of my hands by simply letting his love surround me, completely and efficiently smothering fears and doubts. I knew there was no way I could love anyone more than I loved Josh, I knew it with such intensity that I stumbled when that knowledge was shattered by my love for Dallas. Throughout my pregnancy, I don't remember Josh being all gooey about feeling the baby move, or listening to his heartbeat. But I clearly recall seeing him in the hospital, holding that tiny bundle and looking as if his heart would break. Since then, I have pictures to show for his love and protection of Dallas, my favorites are the ones of them sleeping together: Dallas snug against Josh's side, and Josh's arm holding him close, is if to never let go. Over the last year I have seen Josh's reservations about becoming a daddy fall away as he gets sillier with Dallas every day. It's interesting to see that I've fallen to second place, as well: if I go to wake Josh in the morning, I can shake and holler and rip the covers off, and never get more than a sleepy mumer, followed by a snore. But then Dallas will all but jump out of my arms, yelling "dada", and Josh's eyes will pop open as he catches the little monkey before getting a bloody nose as Dallas falls on top of him to give him a kiss.
I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful, loving husband. I don't know what I would do without him, and I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for giving him to me.
(P.S. Thibe sibex ibis ibamibazibing!!!)


Melinda said...

I was so glad to see your thoughts on this. It's so good to know that, even if I (almost) disliked Josh at the beginning, I know you love him and he loves you. He's definately taken some getting used to for me. But I really do like him now. Cute use of double-talk at the end...good to know you enjoy it. Love you!

Calista said...

Ditto to Melinda's comment about the double-talk :) I also have to admit to some personal difficulty with Josh at the beginning, and I think a lot of it had to do with his determination that he was going to be a permanent part of the picture, whether we all liked it or not. Given time to consider, it wasn't a bad stance for him to take, but it made it harder for us to get a chance to know him. Steve took several months getting to know all of us and helping out with stuff when he came to visit, and Aaron made a couple of visits and did stuff with us in the short time before he and Melinda got married, too. I was so afraid then that you were being pulled really hard (by Josh) into something that you weren't prepared for, but I can't tell you how glad I am that you really do love him and that you are happy with where life is taking you. We didn't get to know him before the wedding, so I'm really glad that you did my tag and told us all about the good elements of Josh :)